Happy National Farmer’s Day!
I have been a farmer’s daughter for all of my life and a farmer’s wife for almost 5 years now. I always like to say that I got “promoted” from a farmer’s daughter to a farmers wife! 😉 I never had much interest in farming growing up. I wanted to stay as far away as possible from it. Let’s just say I had big city dreams in a small town. I dreamed of growing up and moving away and working at a high end design company. After college, I did move 100 miles away in our “big city”, but I was dating a farmer and my classmate, who I had known since kindergarten.
Sometimes we can “plan” all we want, but God has other plans! And I am a MAJOR planner, but God called me back to the farm, and I couldn’t be more blessed. If I wouldn’t be a farm wife, I would have missed out on my life as I know it. Life is hard on the farm, and stressful, but here are a couple of tips to make it all worth while!
Go on Tractor/Combine Dates.
If you haven’t yet, make your farmer a nice lunch or dinner and bring it out to the field! There have been many times that I have made homemade chocolate chip cookies and fresh squeezed lemonade and taken them out to the field. It’s like a picnic on wheels! And your farmer will appreciate you making him a hot meal or a snack!
2. Show Interest in the Farm.
Taking some sort of interest in learning about the farm or ranch operation helps you bond and it makes your man excited to teach you! I know I did a lot of learning in the past five years! From driving tractor to working cattle! And I found that I really enjoy having livestock, no matter how much work they are! 🙂
3. Have a Fully Stocked Fridge.
Even though he eats a cooler full of sandwiches, make sure hat you have plenty of food in the fridge and freezer for him when he gets home late. I know sometimes this is easier said than done, but even if it’s just a few frozen pizzas or frozen dinners. If you have time to prepare a few freezer meals on the weekends or weeknights, great! I know I always try and have something ready for him to either snack on or eat when he gets in, epically once it gets cold out!
4. Spring and Fall are Stressful.
I have learned the hard way not to bring up any important topic while my farmer is out planting or combining! The less stress that you can put on them, the better! Instead ask them if there is anything you can do to help! There might not be much, but sometimes, just asking and letting him know that you care is helpful enough! Do not bring up vacation or weekend plans, especially during a breakdown. Sometimes, it’s best to just let him have his own space. These seasons are just simply seasons, I promise.
For every and any relationship, communication is really the key, especially as farm or ranch wife! It can avoid a lot of arguments, if everyone is in the know! Keep everyone up to date on upcoming events or trips to town, where he has to keep you up to date on if he will be late for dinner or if something broke down. Texting or calling each other a couple of times through out the day, to keep up to date on the actives is important. Or having a down time, with no tv, no phone, just unplug and talk to one another in the evenings or mornings! Know what is somewhat happening before everyone leaves the house, and it makes for a better day!
6. Support One Another.
One of the biggest things that I have learned being married to a farmer, is that each of you will have different, VERY different at times, goals and dreams! But don’t let that get in the way! Be supportive of each other! I remember, talking for several months about being able to quit my full time job, before I did. We were both scared, but my farmer supported my decision and now, he wouldn’t change it for the world. He supports my dreams and I support his! It’s so amazing having your spouses support and encouragement! It is truly the best and makes you want to chase your dreams, that maybe you never had an opportunity to do so!
7. Celebrate the Small Wins.
After harvest, or planting season, plan a night out! Go out on a DATE! Not a tractor date either, a REAL one! 😉 Plan a fun evening of food, or a movie to celebrate a victory in the field or with the cows! It’s fun and it will be something to look forward to during those long, lonely nights of being by yourself during harvest or planting! And it’s something that you can both celebrate!
8. Have ALL the Patience.
Being married to a farmer you will learn that patience is really something that is learned. Meals will be cold, cows will get out on Sundays even though you are ready for church, things will break at the worst times, you will have to attend weddings and events alone, but you have to remember that the busy seasons are only busy for a little while. Be patient with your farmer and with yourself.
9. Plan Together.
It’s also important to be planning budgets, vacations, and life together. Know when things are tighter finically on the farm and pitch in to make the money stretch. Include your farmer in on your vacation plans, even if you are the one who is doing all the planning. Planning together all has to come back to communication and why it’s so important. Have designated roles when planning the budget or family trips. This will help make things more organized and that way you or your farmer will have a part in every aspect of plans, finical or fun!
10. Get Off the Farm!
And I say this in a GOOD way! Your life doesn’t revolve around the farm or the cattle ALL the time and every, single day! It can do everyone good to get off the farm, de-stress and focus on each other. Every year, my farmer and I get off the farm by planning a mini vacation. It dines’t have to be anything big, but it’s nice to spend a night or two away in the city at a nice hotel. Or else have your own hobbies and friends! Be able to set time aside to pursue the things that give you life! Go shopping, or plan a fun girls trip away! You 100% have your own hobbies, interests, and life off of the farm or ranch, so enjoy life every now and then! 🙂