It’s now March. The warmer (if you can call it that) weather is slowly starting thaw the Dakota prairie. The days are getting wonderfully longer, which is long over due in my mind. The time springs ahead next weekend and so does my husband, full ahead into planting season and all the other things that come with being a farmer and a rancher in the spring.
In just a few more weeks will leave me a farmer’s wife widower once again. And my farming man will be busier than ever with selling bulls, getting all the cattle out to pasture, planting, and planning ahead for the summer months.
The house once again, will be empty when I come home from work. No kiss or “how was your day” to greet me at the door. It will be my duty to get the mail from the mail box instead of it being placed on my desk for me when I get home.
The dishes will be stacked high in the sink, from a man too busy to take the time to clean up now. My laundry will be dirty. Jeans will be dirt and manure stained from many trips up and down the tractor steps to “un-plug” the 8-row corn seeder.
The days are not only longer, but so are the nights. Very long. Waiting. And waiting. Waking yourself up and realizing he is gone, putting in an all nighter because there is a spring rain on the way for tomorrow afternoon. You’ll see him in the morning and he’ll give you a long, sleepy kiss goodbye at 6:00 AM, when you head out the door for work in town.
You can watch all the chick-filks you want on Saturday nights, because there is no one there to complain, “do we really have to watch this?!”. But what you would give for it to just be Sunday, the day you get to spend and actually see this man you are now just merely living with.
You actually write him little notes of what happened that day or things he has to do, if he ever gets time that is, when you lay out clean underwear and fresh towels in the spare bathroom. Learning to cook for just one. He no longer needs left-overs from last weekend to eat through the week. He eats sandwiches out of a John Deere cooler now. Date nights will once again consist of lemonade and me squeezed in the side seat of an old John Deere.
It’s bittersweet for me. Spring brings the warmer weather, flowers, gardening, long evening runs, and those glorious North Dakota summer sunsets. But it also brings a sadness and an ache to my heart. Seeing your best friend, the one you love for mere sleeping hours of the day, just isn’t enough for this heart.
Counting down the days, the hours, and the minutes until winter comes again.